Grass is always greener on the other side

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When they said, "Don't grow up, it's a trap", I laughed at them. I thought being a grown up was the coolest thing ever. Who in their right mind would want to go back to being a helpless child who has to depend upon someone or the other for every other thing in their lives. I was happy being an adult. I was glad I was among the responsible half of the world who could make their own decisions and get to go places, do things, meet people without having to get permissions from nobody. Yeah, I was glad I was an adult. 

But then I came in terms with the reality. Being an adult has its pros and its cons. Pros are the things I listed out earlier but there are more cons than I would like to admit. If my younger self were to see what I have turned into, the things that I have had to do in the name of being an adult then I'm not sure she would like me one bit. 

Just recently I realised, I have been reading these realistic kind of books that are narrated by middle aged women. No more of fantasy novels, not even the romantic types. I felt I related to the working mums more than the girls of my age who are in the peak of their youth, out in the world discovering their identities. May be it's because I read a lot that I feel I have lived enough lives for one person. May be I worry for all the characters of the books that I read that I don't have time to worry about my life. May be I have grown too much. The realisation was when the panic started. 

The thing that sucks the most about growing up is that the time is running out and the time is passing too fast. We are running out of the options to start out fresh. The wounds that time and people render on us grow day by day and before we know it, we are scarred to the length and breath of our bodies.  We haven't had a chance to take full responsibility for ourselves and figure what is best and what is not when it is almost to time to start thinking for somebody else as well, meaning it's time to be a mum/dad. Time indeed does pass too fast for our liking. When we were younger, we could not wait to grow up, and we're here. Now what?

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