The Heavy Load Called Expectations

Have you ever been jeered for being a loser? Have you ever been told you are never going to make it? Have you ever felt the need to show everyone that you can and you will?

Well, I have not. I am not familiar with these. I have always watched movies, listened to songs and even listened to people complain about how their parents, how people around them have never had confidence about what their future is going to hold for them; about how they were never encouraged to dream big. 

I, on the other hand, have had a completely different problem to deal with. My parents have always latched their hopes on me. They have always been confident that I am the one to make it big. My aunts and other relatives have always looked up to me and I have been told they talk about how bright my future looked to them. Now, that's a heavy weight to log around all your life. Sometimes I wonder what it is like to not have to carry around such a big responsibility, to have people have zero confidence in you. To want to prove them wrong. The fact of the matter is that my biggest fear is that I will indeed prove them wrong. That my life will amount to nothing more than a pathetic striving and failing and striving and failing and giving up.

May be there are people who think the hype regarding me is totally unjustified. And trust me, I am one of those people. I have never been among the top students. I have never aced in anything. And come to think of that, I have never really shown promise in anything; no talent whatsoever. On top of that, I did everything I could to take the attention away from me. I made as less friends as I possibly could. I submerged myself in books. I went out less. But it seems to me, these were what exacerbated the situation for me. My parents took me for the shy, bookish kid that I was and formed an image of an ideal child. I think I dug a deep trench for myself early on.

Years have passed and my parents have slowly realized that I may not, after all, be the star child but they still encourage me to do my best and be my best. I know they have sometimes encumbered me with their high expectations but I am thankful that they never pushed me too hard. They have let me have my pace. I am forever grateful for my parents for being them. I know they can be trying at times but that's how they show they love us.