Annapurna Area Escapades Day 3, Part 3 - Finale: "Humbled"

"Mountains have a way of dealing with overconfidence." - Hermann Buhl

October 25th, 2018 16:09 - Pode, Chauri Goth. [scared]

As I sat there under the rock, the speed with which snow was gathering on the ground was no match with the thoughts that were running inside my head. What if there was a blizzard? What if someone with bad intentions came to get me? What if a snow leopard came? What if my friends didn't come back? 

And at the same time, I was wondering if it was such a good idea to leave the place. What if my friends came back and didn't find me there? What would they go through? Would they waste any more of their time trying to find me?

Those were very intense two minutes, because my head hadn't finished processing these questions when I heard my friend come running - shouting my name. I had never felt such relief in my life. My legs had almost started to feel gelatinous. Apparently they were forced to retreat immediately as the snowfall got very extreme the higher up they went. 

With gratification coursing through my veins, we started back to the teahouse. It was still cloudy and I was having difficulty wading through the snow despite my "trekking" shoes. The trail had disappeared completely so we got lost quite a few times. My friend had had to lead me many a times holding my cold hand. I was so afraid I would slip and fall down the hill but not as afraid as I was of being eaten by a predator.

By 5 pm we got to the teahouse and just in time, because the cloud had started to disperse teasing us with a partly hidden Annapurna. We were supposed to not get lured by the view (because we couldn't be sure how long it would take for the mountain to be fully visible or if it would be visible at all) but we couldn't resist the temptation and hence we simply waited. Thankfully, it stopped snowing after a while and we could see the glorious sunset (not a good sign) in the horizon. 

Annapurna and Machhapuchhre made an appearance for a few minutes for us to start taking pictures (because if you don't have the pictures, were you even there?) and finally at half past 5, we started off towards our hotel.

The uphill trail, if you remember, was very difficult what with the narrow path and the steepness. But we had the advantage of time and daylight then. Now, we were running out of both. My eye sight isn't best and the snow-laden path wasn't helping at all. The only word of caution I was given was never to look beyond what was ahead of me. We couldn't yet use torch lights because the snow would reflect off the light and make it harder for us. We had a long way to go and I don't know what was going on inside my companions' heads but I didn't have time for that. All I was thinking about was how I needed to give my 100% concentration on where I put my feet next. 

I knew the boys were fast, I knew they could run down the hills if they wanted to and they probably could, but I didn't let that bother me (I am very much thankful that they didn't). I don't really trust my body coordination even during day time and in twilight, I trusted it even less. I had to crouch down every time the steps were big, hold on to a wet snowy bunch of dry grass on the corner side and trust them to hold my weight while I propelled myself further down. Sometimes, I would grab thorns and yelp out in pain, mostly in shock and my friends would ask if I was ok. And I suppose, I was ok. I was taking small steps but it's steps that definitely take us to our destinations, not necessarily leaps at all times.

At one point, I can't remember what triggered it, but I started making appeals to Mother Nature. For some reason, I didn't think about any God. I started talking to her, something along the lines of, "Look, I'm sorry if I seemed overconfident to you but all I wanted to do was go see the lake we were told so much good things about. I'm not angry you didn't let us see it. It's OK. I'm not mad, you made it snow. I enjoyed it quite a bit. Thanks for reminding me of New Zealand. I'm sorry, we took the daylight for granted, You have all the power here. I'm sorry I wished for the daylight to last longer. You have to move according to your rules, I get it. I will not be cocky and start walking fast once we loose the snow. I will tread carefully even on an easy path. This is your world. I will abide by your whims. Just let the three of us reach the hotel in single piece, tonight. You're the supreme. You're the one in control here. We are just here to admire you. We don't mean any harm."

I suppose I was trying to make amends for any cockiness I might have shown earlier and I realised, rather than worrying if I'll be fine, rather than worrying that the hotel is just.too.far!, rather than getting scared to death, rather than getting terrified every time I thought about spraining my foot, about being preyed upon by a wild cat, about falling thousands of feet down, it helped to just keeping on with the one way conversation. It was supposed to be full-moon-ish but the sky was still a little bit cloudy. We had completely lost daylight by then.

And when I was thinking the snow would never end, it did. We started using our torch lights and even the steep downhill trail gave way to the straight easy path. And that was when I started chanting the Ganesh Mantra because now that the rational fear of falling and dying ended, the irrational fear of the paranormal took hold. (because बनको भुतले खाओस नखाओस मनको भुतले खायो)

One step, two step, breathe in, breathe out, left foot out, right foot out. Om Gan Ganapataye Namo Namaha, Shree Siddhi Vinayak Namo Namaha Ashta Vinayak Namo Namaha Ganapati Bappa Moreya.

And before long, we reached Dobato. Hotel Dobato View Point was located at the highest point and the climb, which should've been easier because of the relief, felt the longest and the hardest. I had drained all my energy, all my willpower so I dragged my heavy feet and legs slowly towards the warmth. It wasn't going anywhere for the night.

I am very grateful for the experience. I really don't regret going along with the boys in the hope of seeing this lake. I did regret not going back with the rest of the team but that wouldn't have made for a fabulous story like this. I am grateful towards Sampurna who (according to him) played the Best Supporting Actor role in this expedition. You, my friend, definitely win the award. You didn't once complain when I was literally crawling. You carried my stick, you provided me with the "don't worry, it's ok, we have time, you don't have to rush" assurances time and again. You held my hand and led my way when I needed it. You even offered me your ski gloves to protect them from the thorns. Thank you. I am also very thankful towards Bimal who, despite being a very fast walker, tried to match my pace. You made us feel it was alright, we were safe. You carried my bag and showed us the way when we got lost. I don't think we would have made it back home in time if it had't been for you. You will make a great guide one day. Your patience with me was unmatched. A big thank you.

Bimal

Sam

October 25th, 2018 20:35 - Hotel Dobato View Point [grateful]