Step Into My Shoes..

"All your life you wait, and when it finally comes, and are you ready?" Along with December 2017 came a crushing realization that my resolutions for the year had remained only partly touched. I knew I still had a month but who was I kidding. My resolutions had wings and they had already perched themselves on the next year, impossible to achieve as they were in a mere four weeks' time. The mechanisms of my mind on the day the realization hit very hard will always remain a mystery to me but I remember feeling like a caged animal, desperate to do something, to find an escape from the helplessness. One of my resolutions had been to get inked. But hadn't that always been on my list, year after year? The first time, I wanted to have my name in Tengwar, just like Fernando Torres has. Then I wanted to get a clover (wishes, wishes). I also was keen on a tulip. Deathly Hallows perhaps? Ganesha, or a Saraswati Mantra. The options were plenty and not enough resolve. ...

When they said, "Don't grow up, it's a trap", I laughed at them. I thought being a grown up was the coolest thing ever. Who in their right mind would want to go back to being a helpless child who has to depend upon someone or the other for every other thing in their lives. I was happy being an adult. I was glad I was among the responsible half of the world who could make their own decisions and get to go places, do things, meet people without having to get permissions from nobody. Yeah, I was glad I was an adult.  But then I came in terms with the reality. Being an adult has its pros and its cons. Pros are the things I listed out earlier but there are more cons than I would like to admit. If my younger self were to see what I have turned into, the things that I have had to do in the name of being an adult then I'm not sure she would like me one bit.  Just recently I realised, I have been reading these realistic kind of books that are narrated by middle a...

About four months ago, when I was shopping for my trip to Australia, I bought a perfume that I liked very much. (Okay, not a trip, cause that makes it sound like I’m on a holiday, which I’m not.) I had also bought other ones but that one was special. The first weeks in Australia had been the most apprehensive. Apprehension of things that were new, people who were strange, places that were different, systems that were alien and ways that were unfamiliar. Also there were the feelings of excitement for all the experiences that awaited (like getting aboard a train, walking on a beach…something I had been looking forward to my whole life), for all the friends to be made (Nepalese and otherwise), the scenes to behold and the food to be had (“other than just mo:mo” was what I had thought at first, but how wrong I was since I crave for mo:mo more than anything at all times).  Then there was the anxiety of having things fall short of my expectations (which I had little but still...

That was Calvin at his sparkling best. Could we ever be so sure of ourselves? Are we perfect the way we are? Do we   think  we are perfect the way we are? Are we happy with what we are? My money is on no, most of us do not like the way we are. And hence we set resolutions every new year. If you are a Nepalese, you get this privilege twice a year. AD and BS both on our plates. This new year, I will quit drinking/smoking. I will start working out and get that fab-ab. I will start studying harder and get better grades. I will learn a certain musical instrument or some new skill. I will find a better job that I'll love. I will go for a vacation of a lifetime. I will spend more time with my family. I will find my soul mate. (May be I will make resolutions that I can fulfill) ....and so forth. And when we set resolutions, in paper or not, do we fulfill them? Do we try to fulfill them? And more importantly, do we even have the intention to ever ...