2018, A Diary

December, 2018

Whenever a year would start to come to a close, I couldn't wait for the new year to begin already. I couldn't wait for all the pending things that I could start doing again, I couldn't wait for all the new things that I could introduce to my life. There would be joy for all the prospect of new beginnings, as well as there would be relief that this "wretched year is finally over".

Close a Chapter | Turn a New Page | Start all Over Again  | Right the Wrong | Move on

This time, I have decided to take a different route.

The route of being thankful.

2018 was an eventful year and I am very much grateful for all the things it didn't give me, the things it granted me, the people it allowed me to meet - however fleetingly, the people it made me part with, the blessed respite it bestowed upon me and the frenzied busyness that followed, the plans after plans after plans it disallowed and the wonderful places it took me, the failures that humbled me and the heights I reached.

When I look back, 2018 has been a very long year. I was on a different continent, living a different life. I was a different person with different plans and different expectations. Had someone told me that at the end of this year, I would be at a place where I am right now, I would probably have laughed and said, yeah right. But here I am.

January 2018 was when the hurdle I had been trying to cross for over a year was sorted. So the year started with indefinite* joy. February was quite eventless except for the fact that my friend gave birth to this beauty of a child and I got another chance to coo at a baby. And February was also when I welcomed Hurricane - my Monstera Deliciosa to my home and life. In March, I finished my Professional Year classes and got to see Ed Sheeran in a big arena, free of cost.

The beginning of 2018 was quite sparkly

My Hurricane
(She's grown quite a bit now)

Sahash Gole
(I didn't think it was possible but he is far more cuter these days)

Teddy from afar
(No offence but he's the first artist to make me nod off during a concert) 

* T and Cs apply.

And everything started to go downhill from there on, for a bit. In April, I had to leave my job because my visa expired and my bridging visa had a "no work" clause. I took it as a "much deserved" break. I read seven books that month. I also read (listened to?) my first audio book. I would do nothing but stay home and read and read. So in hindsight, it wasn't so bad after all. May was when I got busy all of a sudden because of this "work opportunity" I got in absence of a colleague.

In June, I moved house to my own space for the first time in five years. Before that I had been living in shared units using other peoples' stuffs, not having a single item on my name. There was a lot of pressure, and of course, it was economically debilitating to buy everything from a toilet brush to a refrigerator. But it was very much worth it. Jobless again, I got to experience binge-watching for the first time in my life. I watched Game of Thrones with undivided attention for about a week and I've got to say, I understand the hype now. valar morghulis.

July decided I needed to come back home so I took the twelve hours plus flight to Kathmandu and finally got to meet my sister in five odd years. I went to Syangja and met many of my relatives and revisited all the places I used to love as a child. I was reminded of the fact that most of my family members are absolute bonkers and the ability to take sarcasm and humour side by side runs in the family. I didn't know it then, but I was meeting my Aama for the last time. In August, we lost her. It was an end to a phase in our lives. Mum was devastated so it felt like I went home for a reason. I could, in no way, give her back what she had lost but I could be there for her, to hold her when she cried, to encourage her when she tried to move on, to make her see the good side of Aama finally not suffering anymore.

Mamaghar
(All these flowers and fruits from my childhood)

Reunion with the cuz's
(they're still very funny and too savage)

Mummy dear
(made it just in time for her birthday)

I also started a new job in August, less than a month after my arrival in the country. I started teaching - something I did not know I could do. I started keeping busy. I also started going for a run in the morning. I would accompany my dad and spend an hour catching up on all the years. And, not unimportantly, I started watching football again. Basically, I took up where I had left five years ago.

I spent September honing up my teaching skills. This was something very new for me. I am the kind of a person who is afraid of speaking up in a company of more than three. I hate the "all eyes on me" situation and yet I overcame that (in some way, in a small group of hopeful students) and went from don't-look-at-me to GUYS-PAY-ATTENTION.

But October has to be the one to take the cake of the year. Most of my friends came to Nepal for Dashain and Tihar from Sydney. I spent Dashain with mum and by God, this was the best Dashain ever. My sister had gone to Australia, Dad went on a vacation like a travel bird he is, bhai went to his home, so it was just mum and I. We spent the entire vacation literally doing nothing but watching Nepali movies, drinking wine and eating sittan (snacks-one-eats-while-drinking-alcohol). We would wake up at 6 am, go for a walk, come back, have tea, cook lunch, eat, watch a movie, have tea, prepare sittan, open up a wine bottle, sit down and start watching movie again. We would go out sometimes to buy another bottle of wine. And that was the best time I ever had in a long time.

I went to a couple of new places in Kathmandu and splurged in exotic getaways. I went on a hike around Annapurna Conservation Area. I walked for hours per day, got to the highest altitude, saw mountains very closely, made friends, did paragliding, (met)* popular Nepali actors, and all under NRS 20K, less than how much I had spent on those two days.

Twilight at Bunjungle Adventure Resort
(Live in a treehouse : check)

Dobato sunrise
(I would honestly not care for the cold if that meant I would witness this every morning)

*by met I mean I saw them from a distance and pretended I didn't know them.

November brought my didi to me. I hadn't met her in seven years and yes, I was excited. She is still the same, very loud, very assertive, very protective and too much affectionate. And I didn't go on a vacation for my birthday in many years. I tried to organise many things, but they failed one after another. In the end I settled for a Pashupatinath visit, some charity at the old age home, loud, sparkles and laughter filled cake cutting ceremony, and a live music dinner at a good restaurant. I didn't feel like my birthday celebration was lacking anything at all. And at the end of the day, that is all that matter I guess.

Didi finally got engaged this year after many attempts the previous years. And what an event. She got engaged to someone from a different community so the amalgamation of two different cultures and families was something that made it all the better. I bought my first kurta in decades. I put on (a lot of) make up for the first time and looked...different for a change.

Birthday Bliss

The lovebirds finally united (officially)

December has been relaxed so far. I met a few more of my friends from Sydney and had some good times. I have one more wedding to attend. So, more traditional attire and a little more of the make up, perhaps.

Yes, I am excited for the new year to begin. Yes, I want to start reading again, because I haven't had the time to pick up any book (I have started four and left them all unfinished). Yes, I want to continue going for a run again (mum and dad both started feeling unwell around a few weeks ago and I don't feel like going out in the dark all by myself and besides, winter in Nepal can be ruthlessly cold). Yes, I want to join a yoga class and start flexing (didi occupies the room and won't give me my space). All these excuses wouldn't stand a chance if it was the middle of the year. But in many years, I have decided to embrace the new-year-new-me attitude. Well, I will go back to be the old me, reading, working out, trying new things, being careful with my finances. But until then, I'll just slouch and blame the end of the year for making me lazy. I'll stick to the "new year resolutions" because starting things on new year feels clean like it should.

I hope you enjoyed 2018 like I did, failures and losses aside. 2019 isn't going to be any better so relax and don't put too much pressure on the year and yourself too. 2019 isn't going to be any worse either, for that matter. It's just going to BE.